(An animated interlude from Episode Two, Part Five)
Fritz’s Five Point Guide To Fending Off Zombie Nuns With The Aid Of A Home-made Catapult:
1. All catapult-based zombie repulsion begins with a well built frame – you will rapidly end up as nun fodder if your catapult collapses on first launch.
2. Select your pant carefully – a well-elasticated pant with a sturdy gusset is best. Baggy y-fronts do not offer sufficient tension, thongs are notoriously unreliable.
3. The size of meat you hurl is crucial – try to launch a whole cow in one go and it will not travel, chucking chipolatas will fail to do any significant damage.
4. You will need to use basic mathematics to calculate the correct trajectory – an equation of H + D (W² x N) ÷ V³ should suffice where H = height, D = distance, W = weight of meat chunk, N = number of nuns and V = average nun velocity. Simple!
5. Fire at will!
P.S. Be sure not to get confused and attempt to launch nuns from your catapult. This would be a bad thing.