Friar Lawrence demonstrated a quite unexpected turn of speed as he wound his way through the dark, deserted Verona streets. The ever-faithful Adelmo trotted obediently along by his side while Michael and I trailed a little way behind in a somewhat foreboding silence. I could sense that Michael had something to say about the events of this evening, could practically hear his thoughts clanking into gear, but he seemed to be taking some time to work up to it. On the rare occasions that he took to brooding like this I had long since learned it was better not to interfere and to let him get to his point in his own time, however long that might take. It was something of a relief then when, turning another corner, he suddenly burst out with, “I knew it was a mistake to try and push this affair of Romeo and Rosaline. I should never have let you talk me into it.” Continue reading
“It’s broken,” moaned Romeo as both Michael and I bent in concern over his prostate form.
“Your ankle?” said Michael, kneeling down to run his hands gently over Romeo’s lower limbs in a search for signs of damage.
“No, my heart,” sighed Romeo. “Rosaline says she does not love me!” Continue reading
We left Friar Lawrence and Adelmo rooting around in the shrubbery with further soft mutterings about ‘gates’ and ‘poor legs’ drifting away into the night air and pressed on until we reached the door of the convent kitchen. I made no attempt to gain entry here but simply counted along the first-floor windows of the building until we stood beneath the one that I was looking for. Continue reading
By the time I finally emerged from the convent Michael and Romeo had given up their vigil outside. They were nowhere to be seen in any of the surrounding streets but it didn’t take me long to figure out where they might have gone. Returning to our usual tavern, I soon spotted them occupying a corner table. Somewhere along the way they seemed to have picked up a wandering lute player who was busy serenading them with a peculiarly mournful dirge of a tune. Romeo was swaying along, his eyes closed and an expression of intense emotion fixed upon his face, Michael looked like he wished he was just about anywhere else. As Michael’s eyes went skipping around the room, possibly in search of some means of escape, he was the first to notice my entrance and hurried over to greet me whilst Romeo was still wrapped up in the music. Continue reading
Everything looks better on a full stomach. Seated back at our corner table in the tavern, with a full dish of broth digesting in my stomach and half a jug of wine still remaining to be polished off, I felt ready to tackle anything tragedy might throw at us. Sign me up as Hamlet’s therapist, Othello’s marriage guidance counsellor, Richard III’s political advisor – I could take on the lot of them. Continue reading
Our business with Lord Montague thus concluded and his written authority safely in our possession, Benvolio was detailed to take us off in search of Romeo. At the foot of the stairs he paused to exchange a few words with an old family retainer and I took the opportunity to pull Michael to one side so that we might review our situation. Continue reading
The servant burst into the tavern with all the unnecessary flourish of a lesser actor making the most of a minor role. As soon as he spotted Michael and I seated at our corner table he hurried over, bowed extravagantly and loudly declaimed, “Good sirs, my Lord Montague doth request a moment of your time.” Continue reading
Bloody hell, where did 2022 go to? One minute you’re sweltering in the midst of a greenhouse gas-enhanced summer, the next you’re plunging into winter with all the ill-considered eagerness of a lonely bloke in a singles bar. Which is our way of explaining why, despite fully intending to provide you with the latest instalment of your favourite nonsense-heavy, alternative reality-based adventure saga within this calendar year, we’ve had to reschedule slightly. Having suddenly looked up and seen Christmas looming on the horizon like a particularly time-consuming iceberg, we have decided that a short postponement is in order. Cos we’d hate for you to get so wrapped up in the moderately chucklesome exploits of Natasha and Michael that you forget to buy all the necessary Christmas pressies and earn the undying enmity of some distant cousins by turning up to their festive get-together empty-handed…
But, fear not, as you can see from the teaser image above, Episode 21, ‘Romeo is Moping’, is (honestly!) in the final stages of post-production and will most definitely be delivered up to you at some point in January 2023. And, unlike a Tory leadership candidate, we only make promises we intend to keep… So, relax, try to make the most of the dregs of 2022, get those Christmas pressies in order and we will be back to brighten up your 2023 with a fresh dose of adventurous nonsense or nonsensical adventure, whichever you prefer…
Travels Through An Imaginary Landscape 