Travels Through An Imaginary Landscape

After the appearance of Jules and El Maestro the steady stream of people passing to and fro before our cell gradually slowed to a trickle. Either the seers were running out of suspects or the number of prisoners was now so large that newcomers had had to be diverted elsewhere. Before long the only person who remained to be seen was the square-jawed, broad-shouldered guard who marched by every fifteen minutes or so on his regular circuit, patrolling this section of the dungeon. Continue reading →

When I woke again bright sunshine was flooding into the room in narrow shafts through the slats in the window shutters and I finally felt refreshed and alert. It was undoubtedly a shame about missing the lantern show but I had to conclude that ultimately a good night’s sleep had been more important. Now all that was required was a hearty breakfast and I felt I could approach the trek back across the mountains with something perilously close to enthusiasm. Continue reading →

When I woke up it took me a couple of minutes of gazing around the thick dark shadows of the room to realise where I was. It then took another minute or two before I realised that the thick dark shadows indicated that sunset had long since come and gone and with it the much-anticipated lantern show. After a brief wave of regret I was still tired enough to shrug philosophically and roll over back to sleep. But then the consequences of the couple of glasses of rice wine I’d had with lunch made themselves felt and I realised there would be no more sleep until I’d answered the call of nature. So I reluctantly hauled myself up off my mattress and, leaving Michael snoring gently on his side of the room, headed off in search of the bathroom. Continue reading →

At this stage I feel obliged to point out that I have been to a number of dodgy parties in my time. I’ve been to office parties where the booze ran too freely and student parties where the booze ran out too soon. I’ve been to house-warming parties that wrecked the house and garage parties that wrecked the whole street. In addition it’s worth noting that the Everingham family has a particularly long and honourable tradition of awkward family gatherings, a notable lowlight of which was my cousin, Leanne’s 30^th birthday party which just happened to take place during the death throes of a ten year relationship with her fella, Steve. I won’t go into all the gory details but suffice to say that what started out as merely an uncomfortable evening of awkward conversation and forced jollity descended rapidly into a bitter vortex of violent recrimination which not only killed off any chance of an amicable separation between the once happy couple but also did for Leanne’s prized Renault Clio, my Uncle Greg’s two front teeth and the relationships of at least four innocent bystanders by way of collateral damage. Continue reading →